Consciousness. What are we conscious of? Are we conscious of how we look and appear to others? Of course, based on my experience, it only makes sense that we are self conscious about how others view us.
Just a little success story, that today, I had the rather awkward walk with the landlord to the local masjid. It was maghrib time, and of course I have always hated one on ones with people, especially when I haven’t planned out all the words and discussions that I plan to have with them.
But with Allah’s blessings, I had slightly less self consciousness today, albeit I still had the nervous anticipation of being in a one on one, walking with him, thinking of what to say. But today, I felt Someone much greater than him with me.
The One who is keeping him alive. The One who knows his decisions, even before he decides, or tries. The One who has written down everything that will happen in his life, from choosing and slaughtering a sheep with his knife for his very next meal, or even when he makes his next business deal, or repairs his tire wheel, even to the last sajda he goes down to kneel, to even the last person he talks to before he passes away. The One who knows the precise time and day, of his departure. The One who created all the ideas in his head, and knew every word that has ever come or will ever be said out of his mouth. How dare I dread? Who else could it be, other than the One who created you and me? Verily, Allah.
When the belief starts becoming lodged in the heart, and when a solid consciousness of the One starts becoming a reality, then and only then, can we start feeling the insignificance of those people and friends. Okay! let me stop the rhymin. But in reality, what an honorable way to get over an anxiety disorder. Wouldn’t you agree?